Learning to Un-look Through Society’s Lens
Today, I want to start by asking: what have you been told about your body, and what you “should” look like?
Now I’ve got a big newsflash for you: many of those opinions and even some of the “facts” too– things like BMI or Body Mass Index– have their roots in white supremacy. Let me tell you what I mean by that. If you are not a white man, you have very likely, at some point in your life, had judgment passed about your body that can be categorized as “societal.” The largely used Body Mass Index (BMI) scale, for example, was created and centered around white male bodies nearly 200 years ago, but has never been updated since to account for the varying types of bodies that exist on the planet.
Many non-white male bodies have even had actual laws passed about how they’re allowed to use and govern their own bodies! This is the world we live in today, and it is one that must be faced head-on with all of its ugly truths.
We are bombarded with the societal expectations on our bodies at every turn, most especially in the media, which then trickles down into our clothing stores, grocery store shelves, and sometimes even into our doctor’s offices, as much as I hate to say it. The opinions that have shaped our society as a whole are highly problematic, and they are counterintuitive to nourishing healthy bodies, minds, and souls. In fact the thin, white bodies that we are told we “should” aspire at all costs to look like only belong to less than 5% of the population. True story!
So why the hell are we allowing such a small minority of bodies to dictate how ALL of the rest of us should feel in our own, equally-beautiful bodies?
When we are penetrated by the narrow-minded idea of what an “ideal body” looks like, we inadvertently tend to increase our tendencies for the following:
Extreme or constant dieting that is hard on our bodies (and minds).
Compulsive exercise that can be damaging to our joints.
Eating disorders (a category in which many of us fall into, even if not the extreme versions you are used to hearing about).
Unnecessary plastic surgery or aesthetic modifications that can become addictive.
Taking drugs to stimulate weight loss or muscle building that can have detrimental long-term side effects.
Low self-esteem and self-consciousness that might stop us from pursuing what we love or what makes us authentically happy.
If you have fallen into one or many of these categories, you’re not alone. It doesn’t make you a bad person in the least. It makes you a very human person living in a world saturated in very distorted and narrow-minded views of bodies.
In fact, we have been in a great state of collective “unlearning” over the last several years. One potent area of unlearning is how we subconsciously ingest unhealthy, external views on the body, and how this translates to how we view ourselves.
Since we can only make radical change by bringing consciousness to unconscious belief systems. Let’s start by taking an honest look at some of our own…
How can you also begin practicing radical activism within your own communities and families? Take notice when conversations begin around bodies, and listen to what is said and how. Maybe it’s a comment about a celebrity, or a person walking down the street, or even a child. Can you be an advocate for shifting these conversations?
One of the best examples on this topic begins around kids. (Remember, our own understanding of our bodies start when we are a child). When speaking to a little girl, for example, we might say, “You’re so cute in your little dress!” or “What beautiful hair you have; I bet you’ll be a heartbreaker.” What implicit messages are we unintentionally sending to that little girl? Can we change the conversation to say something like, “I love how creative you are,” or “You’re so strong - can you run really fast too?”
When we bring consciousness to these unconscious behaviors, and call them out in our families and communities too, we are radical activists of loving kindness for bodies everywhere.
For further reading on this subject, feel free to read the blog I wrote on this subject that is very near to my heart.
Today’s Activity:
Let’s reflect:
What are your earliest memories that shaped what you thought your body was expected to look like? [TV, magazines, conversations with someone?]
How did these depictions shape how you viewed your own body?
Do you find yourself perpetuating any of these stereotypes or biases onto others, even unintentionally? In what ways?
In what scenarios, if any, do you still find these old dialogues playing out in your current life?
How do I respond to these scenarios when they arise? How do I feel in my body? (ashamed, annoyed, unphased)
