The Rising Tide That Lifts All Ships

My friends, you have made it to the end of our first week of this challenge, and I hope you’re feeling awesome about yourself. Before we dig into our work, take just a minute or two just to let your body know how grateful you are to be here today. After all, we wouldn’t be able to do all this deep exploration and discovery together otherwise. Go ahead and place one hand on your heart, the other on your low belly, take a nice big inhale— and exhale with a mindful “Thank you, body of mine.”

Today, I’d like to talk about the ways we can support and lift up others, even while we’re working hard to support ourselves. We must never be an intentional perpetrator of another’s pain or insecurities.

There’s a quote I love that says: “We depend on each other’s dreams coming true,” and I think it says this quite beautifully. 

Dovetailing on what we discussed yesterday, we tend to be unintentional perpetrators of some of the most harmful unconscious biases. Media penetrates us at a deeply unconscious level, and in ways that seem so subtle. It might even be hard to pinpoint how, why or where it came from, but societal biases can trickle down into our family dynamics, our personal circles, and into our communities if we’re not mindful to recognize and address them. Similarly, if someone in your community feels unworthy or unlovable based on unrealistic expectations that have been placed upon them, they might unintentionally - or intentionally - pass those frustrations and criticisms onto you. It’s imperative that we all feel loved, and one of the best ways to feel it is to share it with those around us.

Today, I want to shed light on our own unintentional criticism of others, and where we might unintentionally be perpetrating and projecting societal biases and behaviors onto others. Take a moment to reflect on the closest people in your life, especially younger sisters or brothers and close friends. Have you ever teased or judged a friend on their hair or clothes or body? Perhaps you’ve laughed at them for eating certain foods?

None of us are immune to this, by the way. So if you are reflecting and feeling any sadness or shame for these past misgivings, that’s OK! It doesn’t mean you’re an awful, unlovable person, and you absolutely still deserve happiness and love too. Of course you do! But by bringing conscious awareness to our own biases, behavior patterns and actions towards others, we can finally begin to break the cycle. We can forge new pathways within ourselves and set examples for new ways to support and take conscious action in our communities, families and friend circles. 

There is rarely a time when the way our bodies look needs to be a conversation topic at all, so let’s work together to change the dialogue. Here are some reflections and journal prompts to consider, and remember: conscious awareness is the key to radical change. 

If you’d like to dive deeper into this topic, feel free to give this blog a read as well.

Today’s Activity: 

Let’s journal and reflect…

• Reflect on the closest relationships in your life. Have you been supporting or accidentally adding harm to another person’s self image or relationship to themselves? 

• Can you remember your earliest memory of your body being a topic of conversation? What was said? How did it make you feel? Has this moment unconsciously stayed with you? If so, how?

• How can you change the dialogue with friends and family - can you compliment someone on something other than their external appearance? 

Bonus:  Ho’opono’pono is an ancient Hawaiian spiritual practice in self forgiveness and responsibility. I can’t tell you how much I admire and cherish this wisdom in my own life, and I hope you will too. If you want to try it on yourself or to offer it to someone else, sit in silence and repeat the following until you feel complete:

I Love You

I'm Sorry

Forgive Me

Thank You