Loving- You Get What You Need

I think the Rolling Stones said it best when they said: “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find – you get what you need.”

It begs repeating that no one succeeds alone. Our friends, family and community play a vital, life-giving role in our ability to achieve our health goals. You are obviously the only one who can make the changes, but the support you have around you can either be your greatest ally or your most challenging foe. 

How hard is it to go to a social gathering where you get teased or ridiculed for not indulging in a particular food or drink? (let’s also remind ourselves about the lesson from Day 7 and our impact on other people!) 

The farther you travel on your health and healing journey, the more important the people around you become, and the choosier you may be about who you want those people to be. While there may be people who fall out of your circle during this journey, I am a big advocate of doing your best to allow people to join you. Showing and communicating to them what you need first, and offering them the chance to hear you and to practice with you, if they are open to it! What a special gift you can offer each other.

In some cases, you may find that you need to adjust your expectations about certain people in your life too. As you do your personal work, you may discover that some of your loved ones aren’t quite capable or willing to give you what you need right now. While that doesn’t necessarily mean they need to exit your life (it’s important to acknowledge where others are in their journeys as well), a simple expectation adjustment can be helpful to keep your own goals on track in a positive, forward-moving way. I’m a big believer in regular communication, and gentle check-ins to ensure your relationships are supporting your best interests, or at very least not intentionally or unintentionally sabotaging them.

So let’s first get serious about the people in your innermost circles. Are they helping or hurting your health? 

Today’s exercise is about helping you find and grow your healthy support system. Let’s get out those journals and jot your answers to the following:

Today’s Activity: 

Let’s reflect on your relationships and support networks…

• Write down at least 5 things you want and need from your support system.

• What are 3 ways you can communicate these needs to those closest to you? My advice is to always do this in a calm, safe space with authenticity and respect. If an argument ensues, table the conversation until everyone is calm once again.

• What is one way you can make time for your health interests now? Is there someone in your life you might consider inviting to join you? (some examples might be cooking, taking a bike ride, gardening, or even just a nice walk around town.)

• What is an area of your current schedule that you might consider asking for help with? (For example, if you are in a partnership and you work long hours, perhaps you divide up dinner duties during the week to give both of you a little break from cooking, but ensure everyone gets a healthful something to come home to.)

• What are 2 ways you can think of to expand your network? Get curious about any new things you're interested in trying, and seek out others who are interested in them too! (For example, find a workout buddy to go rollerblading with once a week, or open up to a friend about your health journey and invite them to help you stay accountable to your goals.)

BONUS:

For a little extra boost that is sure to make you feel good, while also extending some additional gratitude to someone in your life, try writing a love note to someone who has positively impacted your health and/or self-worth. Be specific about how they have helped you. Then feel free to send it, or simply keep it for yourself and send them your thanks energetically instead.

For a bit more chit chat on this topic, check out this blog, and be sure to give yourself a little pat on the back for 9 days in the can already!