The Power in Asking “Why”

The Power in Asking “Why”

There is no wrong answer in our decision to eat food. Please, read that again. Maybe read it several times! There is NO wrong answer. Humans are an incredibly sophisticated species with emotions and feelings and opinions and thoughts. Sustenance is merely one of (probably) hundreds of reasons we eat.

Thankfully, we have evolved well past the days where food was scarce, and we quite literally had no idea where our next meal would come from. Now, food is available everywhere – and a lot of it is cheap, easy-to-grab and convenient. (A quick aside: not all cheap and convenient foods are healthy, and not everyone has access to healthy foods. I broadly cover this topic of food insecurity and inequality in my blog: “Demanding Better Access to Food for Our Black Neighbors”. Read it when you have time! This topic is incredibly relevant and important.)

Food has evolved to be one of the greatest global connectors. We celebrate with food, we cope with food, we grieve with food, we think with food. You name the occasion, and there is probably food involved! Unfortunately, there are a lot of societal pressures around food: what is acceptable to eat; what’s not; what times of day you should be eating; when you shouldn’t, etc. etc. etc.

After all, because all of us eat, we all think we are experts on the topic; and we often have a lot of very strong opinions about it too.

Here’s the thing: no one is you except you. Period. (Flashback to Dr. Seuss’ No One is Youer Than You book. That man was wise beyond his years). But seriously, no one else lives in your body. No one else has the exact same genetics as you. No one has had the same experiences, or past, or upbringing as you did. No one has the same life at all! Therefore, what works for you will be different than what works for [insert whoever you take dietary advice from, or whomever you allow to influence your food choices].

As a Dietitian, I have made it my life to study and learn and treat patients on any and all topics around food. I like to think I’m an expert, but honestly, I am still learning every day. That said, here is one thing that I feel compelled to instill into my patients: there is no wrong answer in your decision to eat food. However, when you are not aware of the impetus or reason for “why” you are eating or “why” you’ve decided to make the choice you did, you take away your personal power in the matter. And you are fully allowed to harness your own power and to feel powerful in your life! That’s one of the grand goals, isn’t it?

So what exactly do I mean by this? In short, mindfulness is power. By creating a habit of asking yourself “why” before you eat, you are bringing the decision to your forefront brain. The sheer act of knowing, acknowledging, and labelling the reason suddenly gives us two things: 1) the power of choice, 2) the power to understand and recognize any underlying issues (sadness, boredom, happiness, celebration) that may be driving your decision. Getting to know yourself this way is a HUGE step on your healing journey.

The reason “why” doesn’t matter, honestly, nor does your decision to eat or not. You might have chosen to eat because you’re sad and eating something sweet like a cookie or cake will cheer you up. There is a very real healing in that. In fact, there is very real biological science behind that too! (See my blog “Is It Will Power or Is It Science” for more). But by asking yourself the question, “why,” you are providing your brain the opportunity to agree with the decision or not, and also to better understand.

In my work with patients, mindfulness it the first step in reinstating our relationship to food. Once they have mastered the habit of “why,” we then move onto the next step: releasing your opinion of your reason why! If you choose to eat a cake and cookies because you’re sad, good! Now we know you’re sad, and now we can actively take steps to helping you heal in that area of your life. And also, good on you for finding a safe way to cope with your feelings. That’s not always easy to do.

During this next phase, we practice the art of turning to gratitude instead of judgement or guilt over your “why”. This phase can be a long and tedious road to shifting your mind’s predominant thought. After all, how many opinions and judgements have we allowed into our brain over the course of our lives? Too many.

So how do you do this? Simply thank your food, regardless of the reason. If you chose cake and cookies because you’re sad, then you could say “I’m grateful for you, cake and cookies, for helping bring some sweet to my life when I’m really feeling down.” Or “thank goodness for these cookies to help me through this really challenging moment.” Try it! Make a habit of saying your gratitudes each and every time you eat, regardless of why. Over time, you will find that you might actually forge a new relationship with food, and subsequently of your body too. Not to mention, studies have been shown that people who say blessings or gratitudes before eating were more likely to feel satisfied, full and nourished after eating. Our brain-body connection is very real. 

But without the “why” and without the knowing, it’s very hard to make any changes (if you want to… but again, that’s your choice and power to decide!). And to hell if I’m going to allow anyone to think that they don’t have power. You do! It’s already inside of you. It’s part of my job to help you find it.